Things the Italians Have Taught Me.

cherry perogies

Child labour is an important element of Italy's economy

 1.  Breakfast.  Breakfast will never be the same.  I was raised with breakfasts that were generally cereal, bacon and eggs on special occasions, pancakes.  A certain Auntie (bless her heart) taught me that you can cook bacon in the oven, the thick, good stuff, and drizzle it with a shit-ton of maple syrup in the last 10 mins of cooking.  Et voila!  Maple bacon, caramelly and delicious.  This certain Auntie also introduced me to blueberry perogies from Krauss Berry Farms.  (Go to there, it is awesome.)  Which led to todays breakfast post:

drizzled with sour cream and brown sugar

Toothless McGee contemplates Maple Bacon, which must always be capitalized.

So, we have the kind of high-energy  breakfast that makes you want to curl up and have a 2 hour nap after.  So eff off, "summer".
2.  My other darling Auntie gave me the bestest tip on earth for spaghetti sauce which I am sworn to take to my grave.  And I will.  But it's a gooder.  Really.  Sorry for the tease.  (She also held me down before my wedding and fixed my eyebrows.  Truly, thank you!!!)
3.  There are many types of cheese, and I like them all.  My top picks:  Sheep's Milk Sardo (which, as does everything, tastes better in Italy), Casu Marzu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu which I have eaten, as have all the Italians I know, and trust me, they do NOT burrow through your stomach and nobody knows anybody who has actually died from it.  The worms are intimidating, though.  Ricotta, homemade, is better and cheaper that all other ricottas, and apparently easy, though I have only witnessed it made and not attempted it myself as of yet.  Good Parmesan, the Grana Padano, is amazing in everything, especially cubed and drizzled with a mix of honey, black pepper and truffle oil.  (Thanks, Bob Blumer!)  And you save the rinds in the freezer to add to pasta sauces or soups!! Genius.
4.  Lasagna.  Not a meal.  A large, heaping plate of homemade lasagna to Italians is more often an appetizer or side.  We Canadians have been doing it alll wrong.
5.  You can have espresso after midnight and sleep just fine, if you treat lasagna as an appetizer at the beginning of 9 courses.  True story!!
6.  Mirto, a thick, syrupy alcohol in deep purple is made from alpine berries somewhere in southern Italy.  It is not to be consumed till inebriation, but if you do, you will never cough again.  You will, however, vomit.
7.  Cutting cheese and cutting yourself (accidentally of course, there are no emos in Italy) can lead to a horrific kind of blood poisoning.  Thought I'd share, because I for one am now much more careful with my cheesy knives.
8.  Ooh-  one of my favorite tips of all time, again from an Auntie:  Is it way too hot outside?  Got bosoms?  Shove a sprig of mint or rosemary or basil between those puppies, and you will sweat herbal deliciousness.  It was all I could do not to bury my face in them, which would have been hilarious, inappropriate,  and hilariously inappropriate.
9.  At Italian Catholic funerals that are open casket you have to kiss the corpse.  I have no issue with this, but someone should have prepped me.
10.  Pasta Puttanesca, whilst being a very good dish, translates roughly into "hooker pasta" as it is what the working girls threw together between clients.  This means that it's good, quick, cheap, and even you can do it.  Also, don't come to this realization in a fancy restaurant and ask the waiter about it.  He will bring out a very embarrassed, stammering chef.  http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Pasta-Puttanesca-242590  Ahh, there it is.  Ciao, Bella!